About

I´m in my mid-twenties, female, uncomfortable with posting personal information on the Internet – and sick enough of my own privacy-paranoia to do it anyway. I live in Germany and I study philosophy and, in case you wondered, I have no idea what kind of job/occupation this is ever supposed to lead up to.

I spend a lot of time thinking about psychology, mental health, mental illnesses and psychotherapy. I also used to spend a lot of time in psychotherapy, but I quit a few years ago. I did not get rid of the problems that led me there, though. I´ve had various mental health issues for as long as I can remember, but they have been dormant at times. Unfortunately, for the last two years they have been very awake. In the light of my earlier experiences, though, I´m not terrifically eager to make another attempt at psychotherapy.

“Possible truths” started out as a small txt. file somewhere on my computer sometime last April as an alternative way of figuring out what is wrong with me and hopefully getting better.  At the same time, I also started to read other blogs on mental health issues and I realized how helpful it was to get a direct, subjective account of what other people with similar, but also quite different problems experience and struggle with. Besides, it was extremely interesting. I don´t know if anybody will find my blog helpful or interesting, but at least writing and publishing forces me to structure my thoughts. That´s better than nothing, I guess.

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9 Responses to “About”

  1. Wow, I am a LOT like you. 29-year-old female living in the Midwestern United States here. Have become obsessed with figuring myself out psychologically over the past couple of years because I’ve always felt like something was wrong about how I perceived myself and the world. Anyway, if you ever want to exchange experiences or just to talk, let me know. You are not alone in your hypersensitivity, shame and rage.

  2. Hi, nice you commented! It´s always good to know I´m not alone! Do you have a blog?

  3. No, I do not have a blog. I’ve thought about starting one but it’d be hard for me to keep up on a regular basis. Who knows though, maybe I’ll get around to starting one someday. In the meantime, I’ll just continue reading yours! 😉

  4. Truly not alone, as others have noted.

    i am a 42 year old female with a helicopter mother and a penchant for wordsmithing (which is one of the only things I can honestly say my mother doesn’t get involved in – either because she knows that I am better at it than she could hope to be, or because if she reads what I write she might actually have to learn something about who I am and won’t be able to hold on to her own ideas about me if she does that). I see a lot of myself in the things you express, particularly the desire to express them at all.

    I am hoping at some point I will figure out exactly what to do with myself and a fair helping of talent to make some good in the world. I try not to despair that i have yet to figure it out, since I did see my own father finally find his calling at nearly 60 after sort of just floundering in that general direction for some 30 years. It is heartening to see that it can take that long and be just as fullfilling once it comes though. Still I would have preferred some direction sooner rather than later ( if only because it would go a long way to getting my mother off of my back, or at least provide me a personal arena of safety from which to defend my position, which is maybe the best I can hope for where she is concerned.)

    Cheers!

  5. Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say I appreciate your writings. Found them a couple days ago and burned through a lot of your posts. Found you when I was googling the relationship of disassociation and daydreaming and found your “maladaptive daydreaming” post from 2012.

    I also wanted to tell you I like the way you write. Your writings mirror a lot of how My inner monologue in my mind sounds and that’s comforting. You kept me up a couple nights this week.

    -Luke

  6. Hi, I am a guy, early thirties. I understand what you are going through. It felt like a reflection of my own struggles. I recently self diagnosed myself with Narcissistic disorder. It helped me figure out how I am derailing a great career start. The challenges of preferring social isolation rather than actual human interaction. And I simply cant survive in my work without the latter. The tragedy of it all 🙂 One thing I am planning to try is to set realistic goals in the real world. And then start achieving them one step at a time. Dissociate the need to overtake successful peers and focus on something that we feel is meaningful — could be a new initiative at work , a new career path, a new relationship or even charity/community work. Expect nothing. What I have analyzed is that all these feelings related to a need to achieve are just illusions. In human history, there are very few individuals whose achievements have panned more than a generation. That goes to show how illusory the entire experience is. Key I believe is to have realistic goals that we can work towards leveraging our strengths. At the same time be completely accepting if it fails. Take that as an opportunity to try something new later. Most of our grandiose dreams have no structured path to achieve or are achieved over years in a number of small steps, overcoming mistakes. We never capture that when we dream. It seems so obvious when we dream, in reality it aint so. Important to keep that in mind. Hopefully that should help.

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